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My huge epiphany.  Really.

I am drive the kids all over creation on a daily basis.  I drive methodically listening to talk radio.  I’ve done it a gadzillion times.  However, since November, I made a vow to stop listening to “informative” radio.  I switched to positive stuff- country and religion.

The kids hate it.  All of it.  Whining and complaining about listening to boring stuff.  So I figured positive would come easier if I jump on the band wagon and switch to what they want to hear.  Must say, I LOVE IT.  The latest sounds coming out of the speakers are the same songs played over and over again no matter what station you switch to.  Gets you in the groove.  I love singing and dancing while driving my kids all over creation.

They scream, “Stop it, Mom!”;  You’re ruining the song!”;  “Mawm, put both hands on the wheel!”;  “Stop dancing!”;  “You’re embarrassing!!”;  Waa Waa.  Seriously, it just doesn’t matter what you do;  they grow up forming opinions and lob the negative on Mother… Aahh.  That’s a separate issue…

Anywho, it occurred to me that if I am enjoying the loud music (I mean loud to drown them out sometimes…) and it makes me so happy to sing and dance, why am I not doing this all the time?!!!??

A hundred years ago, I paid for a Women’s Health and Fitness club building.  I mean, I paid a lot of money over several years because the girly girl holding the contract said it’s just easier to pay dearly through the nose over a long period of time than to try to remember to renew membership.  Hook, line, sinker.  I paid for the building because I never went.  I was so intimidated to put on my size zero (hindsight is so great) to stand in front of everyone in front of a mirrored wall to learn the ‘grapevine’, that I just quit.  Yep, quitter.

Honestly, what did it get me?  I still have no idea what a ‘grapevine’ is.  I still get hives at the thought of someone “evaluating” my strengths and weaknesses and baring my inner love handle when I bend over to touch my toes in a “fat ass” sessment.  Scarred, I am telling you, scarred!

So, the other day I was relaxing on the couch- eating bonbons- watching tv- when this commercial popped up with this dude jumping all over creation.  Talk about energy coming out of the boob tube.  He said real loud with closed captioning following his voice “DON’T DO SIT UPS!”.  My kind of guy!  He said more, but, I liked having the guilty feeling of not doing sit ups disappear because I heard him- AMEN.  Don’t do sit ups!  Guilt free I’M NOT DOING SIT UPS, MIST-A!!  Woowho!  I sat up to hear more.  Here is a guy who knows how to tell it!!

It’s like a disco- this guy is pumping his fists, the people behind him are all smiling, crunching their stomach like they have a stomach ache, high energy, jumping, pumping bla bla bla…  I am off of my ass crunching my stomach trying to see what this ‘T’ guy is doing and I am screaming  “WHAT IS THE MESSAGE!!??”  “whaaatt iiiissss the messsssage???!!!!!”

He said, “Just dance!”

OMG!!!!  This whole freakin’ time in my life, all hundred and gadzillion years of being intimidated and not knowing my right and left, not being able to understand a grapevine, wondering if I am even worthy, this guy trying to sell me some dvd for 75% off retail price said it so poetically- “Just dance!”

My forehead still has the red hand print from when I fell over and it hit me.

My radio is on full blast all day long.  I can’t always hear the telephone, clueless if the doorbell rings. None of it matters.

What matters is that I am so happy being in my skin, knowing I haven’t a clue my right from left, needn’t worry whether or not my double-digit size sweats are fashionable if I so choose to wear them, not giving a care if I look stupid flailing around my home.  I know I am in perfect harmony for what I can do.  I “just dance” and that is perfect for me.

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